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Mind Games

Haven’t blogged too much this week.  Trying to ascertain the need for the blog.  HE has been telling me that “people in town are reading your blog”.  Someone close to him (and to me, apparently), even told him that on my blog, I said I never loved him and that I liked to control him.  Hmmm.  Judge much?  So, I start to post, then stop, then say to heck with it anyway.  And, I’ve been fine with it.  Mostly.

Then, this came out.

And, while for most of the time, I’ve handled this issue in my small town with style and grace, and have been able to stand by him when he needed it, this week’s headline news story brought it all back for me.  It showed up in my runs.

Tuesday was a 1 mile w/u with 6 x 3 min. intervals and a 2 mile c/d.  I chewed and drove my body through the town, past the park, past the street.  Looking neither left nor right I vanished like the wind crossing streets with neglect.  I was just. Angry.  Over the catwalk.  By the cemetery.  By the places that I never had to look at before.  By seedy motels.  Yes, we have it all.

Wednesday was a 5 mile *easy* run, which took us in at 53:20 or so, and seems a bit fast for us.  Before I ran, I turned to Kim and said, “What is it going to take for your life to change?”, because in our pre-run therapy, we had lots to talk about.  As I turned on River Road, and ran into the moon, I started asking myself the same question.  What…What will it take?  As it turns out, my dangerous word with him is *HELLO*.  Stop. Saying. HELLO.

We are ready for the CIM Relay this weekend.  I was to do the first leg, but since I have 8 on the schedule, it looks like I’ll be doing 2 or 3.  One of our members bailed, so we’ve been punting all week.

Staying up late.  Chewing on the news.  Like taking a band-aid off before it’s completely healed.  The Tiger Woods story is not about having an affair.  It’s about going away.  Dealing with it.  Not saying you’re sorry to all the people who looked up to you (really?) ….It’s about doing everything.  Everyday.  To make sure your wife knows it had NOTHING to do with her.  Nothing.

Because, you were having a blast.  Until you got caught. 

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3 thoughts on “Mind Games

  1. Another story of a role model gone bad…. A lot of kids looked up to him and I feel horrible for his father who was definitely a better man then Tiger. Just horrible.

  2. If you want to blog, blog! You know who your friends are and those are the ones whose advice you will heed. Manipulative people have been manipulating probably since childhood, and will always try to play to their favor.

    Have a great run Sunday. Sac is a fun city, love it near the Capitol!

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