silence in my heart
the static gone
shut down my phone
to the outside noise
donuts with my sons
raised the lid on my piano
sat in quiet as princess and i
listened to the wind.
that marathon is over with
more to come
sat in the bubbles
quiet. peaceful.
i meant to read a book but
i just sat.
at first i craved the constant blinking
of my phone
and now. now i crave
the clean and quiet heart.
Not to be melodramatic or anything.
But, San Luis was hard.
You can look it up.
I did 6:15 or 6:16 or something.
Second to the worst PW.
I wrote a long, wordy post.
Then deleted it.
I have an MRI next week.
There are some marathons
that you never speak of again.
San Luis Obispo is that one for me.
At some point I will be able to be full
of metaphor & meaning.
But, not today.
well.
yesterday, i woke with a slightly achy left foot. on the top. i had been noticing it a last few days, and it has been increasingly uncomfortable. i could run with the foot, but i couldn’t walk. i ran 5 miles, and was fine. i feel good. i’m ready for sunday.
then. today, i woke with a limp so pronounced i could barely walk. i posted a quick shout out to runners last night who all said, rest rest rest.
okay, so i’m tapering. rest is fine. i have the fitness, and i’m fine. but i have a marathon in 4 days.
i went to the doctor.
who sent me to the radiologist for an x-ray.
who sent a wet read to the doctor…
and before i hear from him tomorrow, i’m reminded of his last words: if there is no stress fracture on the x-ray, then we need to get an m.r.i.
this would be such a cruel joke. seriously. what happened?
so. i sit hear with a bowl of spaghetti. a wrapped and iced ankle. perplexed at this turn of events.
It’s pretty close now. One week, and the madness that is taper has sort of subsided. I ran all my runs this week in the wind and the rain and on the treadmill. The only mild problem is that I have a muscle in my quad that is speaking to me. Also, the knees.
But, this is no time to question, or even to wonder what I can do about these things.
I have endured. I am ready. One more week of smallish runs, an 8 mile tempo tomorrow.
The hay is in the barn.
It’s the socks.
All this time, the numbing on my feet that I thought was due to the shoes? It was the socks.
Today, I had an 8 mile LSD on tap, and threw on my Wright Socks, stuffed down in the bottom of the drawer, there. I had several other running socks. Tons of pairs. I remember I bought the Wright Socks a few years ago, and loved the double layer of blister protection it offered. However, I run so many days in a row, I pull out pair after pair, and I simply forget about how good they are.
The last several weeks, I’ve had to run through a toe-numbing around mile 3. Well, today, that just never happened.
I threw on those socks, and headed out for the run. At mile 5 it started pouring, and went on that way for the next 3 miles. But I never got the numbing…the kind that makes me run on my toes.
I thank the socks, and listen up Wright Socks: You’re going to San Luis Obispo.
It’s starting, though I’m trying to keep it at bay. I may be going a little crazy.
Last night, I swore I had a sore throat. I bought two huge bottles of Vitamin C today, as if the extra bottle would ensure I am not going to get sick.
Today, I woke up ready to run a little 6 miler. The Hanson taper is steep and short and swift. You are running every day, but shorter and shorter, right up until race day.
I put on my shoes, and felt it. The ledge. I have many posts about my shoes and how I run, but the best one was right after NIKE, when I photographed the horror of my shoe ledges. They are 45 degree angled heels. And, they were what I wore during NIKE. It was ugly, but I didn’t know it.
So this morning, I suddenly went into problem solving mode. I have at least 50 miles to run on these 250 mile shoes. 300 miles + a marathon on ledges. That simply won’t do. Luckily, I call Fleet Feet, and they have NIKE ZOOM Structure in stock. They have 15s, which are $105. I am bummed, because I didn’t plan on this expense. I drive there, and luckily for me, they have the 14s. Just one, in my size. 10.5 I paid $69.95 and went on my way.
You know how you never get around to running that 6? That was me. My sweet Row came driving up to see me, and we shot the breeze for another hour. I bought a protein/energy bar, and went on my way to the market, where I dropped coin for groceries for teens who eat a TON of stuff. I bought the Reese’s Easter Eggs for $.50, and finally got home. Both boys were off with friends, so another hour was eaten up with putting away groceries, etc.
I ate one of the eggs for a wee bit of energy, and finally, around 1:30 I took the new Nikes out for their 6 miler. It felt good. Different. Can’t tell you how discouraged it feels to run a little slower, but I’m really concentrating on marathon pace for this race. This 6 miler took forever it seemed, me…chewing over the events of the day in my head. It was cloudy, and I had a little wind, but I finally ran over the catwalk and got home.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD. I thought everyone’s head worked like mine. Couple ADHD with Taper Madness with weather 10 days out of rain in San Luis Obispo, and all of my fears are starting to push up into my consciousness.
Just took some Vitamin C. Breathing. Meditating. Looking for that space in my mind that believes I can do a 5:15 marathon. It’s there, and I intend to find it the next 12 days.
Two weeks away, and I cannot start questioning my training or my plan. Today, I started comparing my plan to the one on the Hanson site, and yeah. I’m on track to finish strong.
So, yesterday, after our weekly morning donut fest, and afternoon Easter brunch, I was simply going to skip my ten mile tempo run. I looked into Harley Guy’s face and explained that maybe I’d do today’s run yesterday and switch it up. He said nothing. So, while he was getting ready to go home, I started getting my gear on for my run. I secretly committed to doing the 10 miler. At this point, 14 days away, I just didn’t want to mess with the plan.
I started out at 6pm, and went out west to hit the trail we have that gives me 4 miles before I get to my regular start. The golf course was closed, so I added another half mile on, and found the trail. This trail is fun to run on, but so gross. It’s the sewage ponds. A bug actually flew into my mouth. I don’t even want to know where that bug had been. I needed to hit a 12:04 pace. When all was said and done, I nailed it, but I was hot, and I had eaten too much during the day.
This morning, 12 hours later, I had to do 6 miles. My legs feel like lead. I couldn’t get even a decent LSD pace going. My quads hurt, my left hamstring was tight. It was a very sluggish run.
I have no plans to go anywhere the next 13 days. I am taking care of my ailing dog, my kids and I are on Spring Break, and I am heading to my TNT kickoff party on Wednesday. This weekend will be very low key, as I leave next Thursday for Clovis & San Luis Obispo.
Today’s run was sluggish as hell. I need 24 hours to rest the legs. I’m ready, but I have a lotta runs left before Earth Day.
Taper.
Taper. Madness.
I don’t have it yet, but I guarantee you, that if any of the last 4 marathons are predictors, it’s gonna happen in about 4 days or so.
Here’s what it looks like for me.
I am so in love. I have a long distance relationship with Harley Guy. And, I would run to him.
There are two times in the Hanson training cycle that brings me to my knees. One is about half way through…when you realize, holy shit I have a lot more miles to run. Just as soon as you get through that, and you continue to ramp up the voluminous miles week after week, you sort of accept that you are just. Running. A lot. You do your life, but you do the miles…over and over again. It’s really not a problem…because you know you have to do them.
The second time, and I recognize this…is right before the steep taper that is Hanson. Short and sweet. Less miles but you are still running 6 days a week, right up until that last week. It’s weird, because you’d think you’d go a little crazy DURING taper. But, in this plan, it’s right before taper…when you can barely make one. more. training. run.
Take this week and compare it to last week. Last week, my tempo 10 miler in the rain in Clovis, was perfect. Spot on Marathon Pace. Wednesday, I did 16 miles. I was tired…after running 10, 6, 6, and then 16. I recognize this, because the whole goal of Hanson is to have you run on tired legs. Yes. Always. On tired legs. So, that 16 on Wednesday, I finally remembered it was like running on 22 miles of work. It was hard, but I did it. Mightily.
After a rest day…truly 48 hours of nothing, I was ready to go. This Sunday’s tempo slayed me. Every mile was hard. It was sunny and windy, and I erroneously thought if I went after noon in the chill, it might be easier. Not so much. The wind was like, a 30 miles an hour wind. And, every corner I turned, I was running into the wind. It was almost as if the gods moved the wind right into me just the moment I turned.
That ten miler was hard. Yesterday’s 5 miler was hard. FIVE? Really? Today’s 8 was hard. It’s all hard right now. I have the rest of this week to look forward to. 10, 5, 6…and then rest.
Three weeks away, and what a normal taper looks like is not so much these days.
I remember it well.
