Work In Process

Posted on January 2, 2012 by

On the edge of my psyche is a little voice that says,

Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

Everyone is picking goals this time of year.  I’m certain that if I looked back over every blog post, journal, diary or log since I was a young girl, you would find resolutions.   We all want to spend more time with our family, get thinner, get a better handle on our finances, quit _______(insert something).

But.

I want to know what I will do this year that will be special, if only to myself.  Of course I want to go to Paris and see the Empire State Building and dig a garden.  And.  In no particular order, here’s what else I want to do.

  • Tell the truth.  Every single time.
  • Run a 5:30 marathon.
  • Make all of the amends that I’m unwilling to make.
  • Keep my job.
  • Fix my now broken garage door.
  • Never eat margarine.
  • Help others without keeping score.
  • Make time to talk to my Mother every day.
  • Tell people when they’ve hurt me.  Right then.  Not at 3am when I think about what I wish I’d said.
  • Forgive.  Or at least pray to try to forgive.  Maybe.
  • Own a pink sweater.  Have a pink blog.
One down.  Ten to go.
If not now, when?
Posted in life | 5 Comments

632.78 & Still I Run

Posted on December 31, 2011 by

2011 was the year that I accepted my limitations.  And just as soon as I accepted those, I was given wings to attempt another marathon.

632 miles.  That’s what I ran this year.  Sounds like a lot, except last year I nearly topped 1000, and did 900 the year before that.  I stopped running after the LA Marathon.

Here’s the year…in recap:

  • In January, I had a new boyfriend.  I hadn’t had a relationship of any significance for 4  years, so all my posts were about this.  Yeah.  Right in the middle of training for marathon #4
  • February, I was worried about my job, which I eventually lost.
  • March brought the Los Angeles Monsoon Marathon, which I was really happy with.  I have finally accepted that I’m a 6 hour marathoner.  But to finish THIS particular marathon in 6 hours was a new level of badassness. It was 6:04, and I was thrilled.
  • In April, I attempted the Pinnacle One Mile Road Race in Fresno.  I won $30!  I also gave up Twitter, and went on a 30 day Facebook Cleanse with Harley Guy.  I committed to the NorCal marathon in September.  But, I didn’t do it.
  • Because I love TNT, and I wanted to run the Nike Women’s Marathon (half), I joined and ran the 10K Dala Horse Trot in May, at a pitiful 11:46 pace.  A week later, I ran the Stockton 5K Rotary Run.  I was trying to raise money.
  • June was the Bass Lake 5K, and our annual Udder Run, and I won first place in my AG.  Out of 2, or 3.  Still.  I don’t sneer at a small race field.  I was out there.  I fell in love with Pinterest, and Harley Guy and I made it 6 months.
  • July brought Jack Bogart to our family, and while in Virginia, I convince my cousin to run her first 5K, the YMCA Virginia Beach 5K.  At this point in my running career, I was walking.  I gained weight.  I wasn’t in the mood.
  • August brought running to a screeching halt, as I got a job teaching High School English.  Online.  And, while it’s been an adjustment both financially and in a time management way, August had me burning the candle at both ends trying to figure the whole thing out.
  • September found me in court, standing up for myself.  At last.
  • The Nike Women’s Marathon Race that I’ve done for 3 years was in October.  A nice 13.1 stroll, sometimes running, sometimes walking…taking pictures, enjoying the sights.
  • There were no races in November, but I finally settled on Marathon #5, which will be San Luis Obispo on April 22, 2012.  Good numbers
  • The CIM Relay team “We Run This Town” had a blast in December.

Finally.  In Mid December, I picked a Marathon Training Plan, using the Hanson model.  I started training, and for 3 weeks, I got stronger.  I lost 7 pounds on purpose, and started clicking off the miles.  Harley Guy and I made it a year, and planned 2012.  I still struggle in relationships.  I get scared.  I push, and still MsV sometimes raises her ugly head.  But.  For the most part, I am centered in my recovery.

632 miles.  2885 lifetime.

It’s definitely a journey.  And.  I’m not done yet.  2012 is not just mine.  It’s yours, mine, and ours.  Welcome.

Posted in running | 4 Comments

Hollywood Half Marathon Christmas Giveaway

Posted on December 14, 2011 by

Did you say you want to run with the stars?

I’ve been given a free entry to the Hollywood Half Marathon, on April 7, 2012.

You want to win?  

It’s simple.  You know that I’m running the full San Luis Obispo Marathon

for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society on April 22, 2012.

Each time you donate $20, I will enter you in the drawing

for a free bib for the Hollywood Half Marathon.

San Luis Obispo or BUST!  Donate here ~~~

I will be drawing the name of the lucky winner on Christmas Eve, and YOU get ready to run 13.1

PS-The winner will get his/her $20 refunded to them by me…so it’s a totally free bib!

Good luck, and let’s do this!!

Posted in 13.1, team in training | Leave a comment

I hesitate to do this.

Posted on December 10, 2011 by

A few minutes ago, I put my training plan on Facebook.

Then panicked.

Not because I put it out there, and thought in my head that I would be mocked for a 6 hour marathon…but because I actually am doing this again.

Then I looked at it, and I thought.

I don’t want a 6 hour marathon.  I mean, I’m okay with it, but honestly, is it too much to ask to get a 5:30 marathon?

Several months ago, I said I want a 5 hour marathon.  That was before the LA Marathon.

I am resigning myself to slowing down on regular training runs.  A whole minute per mile.

I am 52.  53, in February.

I know I don’t have the DNA to be a fast runner, but I do have the heart and desire to do better than I did.

So, the other day, I sat down with three running plans:  Higdon, Hanson, Runners World.  I loathe the 20 miler, and Higdon is famous for that.  Runners World seemed too focused on the long run.  Several 20 milers, and running 4 days a week.

So, why did I pick Hanson?

Is it the 5-6 days of running?  Is the lack of the 20 miler…topping out at the 16 miler?

Sorta.  I love Hanson training.  I didn’t get really sick of it before LA, until the last month…when it was 8,8,8,8,8, all the time.

I reflected on all my training plans.  For NIKE, my virgin marathon, I did TNT plan, which, in retrospect is really to get people across the finish line.  It still is my PR, at 5:57:xx.  LA Marathon, and MCM, I used a long distance coach.  In LA, I bonked at Mile 18 due to vertigo and dehydration, and at MCM, running with him, I mentally collapsed as soon as he complimented me.  I threw in the towel mentally around mile 14.  It wasn’t the plan, and it wasn’t him.  It was my head.  I used Higdon on my first half marathon, and simply didn’t like it.

Then.  LAMarathon in 2011, I told my coach I wanted to do Hanson, because I was dating Harley Guy, and was sick of traveling out of town to see him, then spending 3 hours running.  He set me up with a fantastic plan.  RUNNINGRUNNINGRUNNING all the time.

But, as I reflect on that marathon, the monsoon marathon, I remember that even at mile 22 or so, I knew my feet could handle it.  Winds whipping, pounding rain, and a chatty Kathy in my ear (thank you Shiloh!), I finished at 6:04, but I didn’t want to die, and I guess that’s been the defining factor.

I didn’t want to die.

I spent the rest of the year recovering mentally from that training schedule, but when I reflect, it’s the one that got me to the finish strongly.

So, I hesitate to do this, to call it, but here is the plan.  I spent one whole day crafting it, looking like a mad scientist with plans laid out all over my desk.

I start tomorrow, and I couldn’t be more excited.  I don’t know if I will keep the plan the whole way through, because everyone manipulates plans due to life stuff, but here it is.

I have a few more races I want to add, and the Modesto Half Marathon, or pacing my pal Glenn in LA, but here it is.

I’m shooting for a 6 hour marathon where I don’t die.  Please don’t laugh. :)

Posted in marathon, San Luis Obispo Marathon | 5 Comments

Pick a Plan. Any Plan.

Posted on December 8, 2011 by

Workouts are like brushing my teeth; I don’t think about them.  I just do them.  The decision has already been made. ~ PattiSue Plumer, U.S. Olympian

Marathon #5 On The Horizon

Do I Hanson or Higdon?

Or go with Runner’s World?

My lofty goals are not merely to finish.

They parallel the cry of my heart.

To stave off old age.  To run with panache.

To believe that I can do this once again.

My doctor calls with an order of 10,000 units of Vitamin D.

A day.

Does this sound like youth to you?  My bones.  Can they handle this?

Another marathon training.

Of 18, 19, 20 weeks.

Of getting up and getting on the streets.

The same man who walks his brown lab, and the clerk at the Shell station.

The truck drivers at the Egg Plant.

The women driving their kids to play dates, to school.

These are my neighbors.  These are my home.

They greet me with the morning sun.  

As the afternoon commuters do with their weary drives home.

All saying.  Whispering.

“Do it.  You can.”

Time to pick a plan and start.  To face the start line.

Of yet another date with destiny.

Posted in marathon | 3 Comments

Open Letter To My Teenagers.

Posted on December 7, 2011 by

Christmas, 1999

Dear Sons,

It’s that time again.  You are both awesome.  Yes, I could be more creative in my description, but honestly, I love you both to pieces.  Articulate and bright, funny and friendly.  So many adjectives could describe you.  But.  Because I’m your Mom, you know I love everything about you, even if it drives me nuts at times.  That’s what this letter is about.

  1. Table Manners: These are not optional.  Okay, sometimes when we are rushing around going to Scouts or sports, you can put your elbows on the table…But mostly…Elbows off the table, napkins in lap, no smacking, take a breath, have a conversation.  Ask to have the food passed.  Salt and Pepper are married:  they’re passed together.
  2. Wearing Hats:  Hats are intended to keep your head warm.  If you are at the table, they come off.  Every time.  Not sideways, or backwards.  Oh, and while you’re at it, couldja get all your hats together in one place?
  3. Your Video Stuff:  This morning, I stepped on XBox headsets as I sleepily made my way across the den with a cup of coffee…the only real time I have to sit and collect my thoughts before I start my day.  Sorry if it broke, but not really, because have I asked you to move that stuff?  Yes.  Oh, and I know you’ve worn me down with Modern Warfare.  I seriously hope and pray you don’t become snipers in real life.
  4. Homework:  I know you have it. If you are in Middle School, you certainly have Math and English every night.  I know, because I taught it.  When you do your homework, use the desks that I have provided for you…not your bed, with the TV, iPod and Facebook open on your laptops.  Seriously, your teachers will thank you.
  5. Texting, Facebook, Internet in General:  You may not have cussing or sexual references on your Facebook.  Sorry.  If someone posts something like that, it’s your responsibility to remove it.  Oh, and tell me about it, so some parent doesn’t look sideways at me because I’m the 8% of the divorce rate in our town, and assumes that I’m not raising you correctly.  PS.  Do not EVER pretend to be someone else.  It surely will get back to me, and you’ll be losing said machines.
  6. Punishments, Consequences:  I decide those.  They are not open for negotiation.  I taketh away, and I give back.  Not you.  Also, if you lose your phone, iPod, etc., due to consequences, you will be given an additional chore to do.  It’s the way I roll.
  7. We’re all in this together:  I love you.  You are my world.  I pay the bills, I let you live in the house. I cook for you, I teach you everything I think you need to know.  I’m sorry I’m a single Mom, and don’t have that family structure you used to have.  But, you know what else we don’t have?  We don’t fight and yell.  We have family meetings.  We are not afraid, for the most part.
  8. Support:  You will attend your brother’s awards ceremonies.  You will show up for the championships, and you will clap and support him.  Your job is to be a family member.  I want you to know that you won’t always have each other…that someday your loves and jobs and kids and careers will become the focus.  Meanwhile, suck it up and wear the school colors for your brother.
I love you.  You exceed every expectation that I ever had when I thought about having children.  You’re no longer babies, but you still need parenting.
And.  That’s just what I’m going to keep doing.
Love, Mom

 

Posted in family | 2 Comments

CIM Marathon Relay

Posted on December 4, 2011 by

(Me, Shiloh, Khrys, Kim)

WE RUN THIS TOWN <3

This is the 3rd year for WE RUN THIS TOWN, and it was my turn to run the 4th leg…to finish with the big boys and girls.  5.7 miles?  That’s nothin, I thought.  You can read the 2010 report here, and the 2009 report, here.

Kim and I drove late to the Marathon exchange stations, because we simply didn’t have to be there at the start of the relay…However, we missed one important key.  We love getting our team in the morning, the friendship, the coffee..and we wait together at the hotel for the busses to take each person to their leg, one by one.  This year, we noticed the absence of that, and it was…different.

Shiloh and Khyrs were at the start, and Shiloh ended up running the first two legs since Khrys had a pulled hamstring.  I got a text at around 9:20 that Shiloh made the exchange with Kim at the station.  I had leisurely parked at SaveMart right in front of the 4th station, and had to wait and wait…went to the restroom 3 times…and then finally got on the starting line waiting for Kim.

I saw her finally…that gorgeous face, that sweet gal that I’ve been running with (or not) all these years…the familiar blue t-shirt and shorts she is wearing in 35 degree weather.  I hug.  I get the strap, and away I go…making sure to leave her the car key.

I am at Mile 20.  Something is really wrong about this.  As I embark on my next marathon training cycle, I realize I’m running with the people at the end of the marathon.  Where the devil lives.  Where you want to crawl off the course.  I tried not to make eye contact …they must absolutely hate relayers who have only been on the course a few minutes.  I started with a 9:40 pace, and of course that is way too fast for me…but I ran side by side some super fast people.

At only Mile 21, I realized that the last time I had anything to drink was at 6am, and I was VERY thirsty.  Off came my fake arm warmers and dollar store gloves, the hat and the shirt.  At 40 degrees, I was running near naked and in the cold sun.  I had to sip at each aid station.  I never stopped and finished at 1:08, with an 11:47 pace.  Not near what I have been used to doing prior to this year.

But.  This is a new year.  I’m older.  I’m tired.  And, I’m enjoying running just for running.  As I ran, I pondered everything that’s going on in my life.  New changes, that I’m not really talking about yet. A house that continues to foreclose, but never does.  A job that is just above poverty level.  Good friends and strong coffee.  I spent one whole mile sad about a recent situation.  A goodbye to the old Ms. V., who no longer lives in me.  A hello to a kinder, softer girl of about 53 years old.

And then.  Just as I was plodding along, there came the 4:30 pacer.  I ran with them for about 8 minutes.  4:30. What I would need to get into Boston as a 60 year old.  A dream that is becoming dimmer and dimmer.  I lost them, but came in under a clock that said 4:34:xx, even though it was a marathon time.  I laughed, as I imagined me someday doing that…

Kim and I just had food.  Denny’s Belgian Grand Slam, which is 23 points, so no more food for me!  The spa is hot.  My dogs are at my feet.  I have the new Runner’s World, and the evening to myself.

Another day of toeing the line.

And I’m good.

Posted in running | 2 Comments