**Title from Flock of Seagulls, I RAN**

So, I have to come back.  Because, because.  I’m alive and have a purpose.  Right?  Here’s how my week went…and first of all, let’s get this out of the way.  I haven’t run since October 1st.  Why?

  1. Ending a marriage is a long, grueling process.  The only thing that has saved my sanity this year is running.  I had a long, drawn out meeting with the powers that be (aka, representatives of the state of California), and we are somewhat closer.  Somewhat.
  2. Have you ever had a day like Groundhog’s Day?  Every Day?  Each day I come in, there is some new drama, some fight, drug use, police arrest.  What happened yesterday in our lesson?  They don’t know.  They can’t remember.  One class is reading 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teens, and they know.  Sort of.
  3. I open a journal on Monday.  Cocaine spills out all over me.  I think about those guys in TV who run the coke across their lips, and I touch it and wonder if I should do this.  I imagine myself at a United Airlines ticket counter with my credit card…”Take me however far this will get me.”  …because, that’s what happens when I drink.  I am sober, sober, sober.  The student is there the next day.  The book is not tested, and he is not in trouble.  A few weeks ago, two students were suspended for snorting cocaine through a mechanical pencil in two classrooms.  They were not expelled.  If you can’t get expelled for that, you can’t get expelled.  So much for zero tolerance.
  4. I have a doctor’s appointment for the PF on Monday.  I cannot tell you how disappointed I am that I didn’t do the 10K today.  I may not do the Half.  I don’t want to injure myself more, but maybe I just need to stop. running.  That being said, I must go to the gym and do something, anything to get back. 
  5. My love affair with ice cream was resurrected this past 10 days.  It’s over, because like any lover, it does get old.  It’s just cold, and makes me hurt the next morning.  Because I’m such a slug.
  6. I won tickets to Randy Travis at the Big Fresno Fair, and went with my gf Cathy last night.  As we are walking in one of those big halls, there is my ex-husband’s GIGANTIC Construction Company booths.  I walk over there, and no one is there.  I write Rick a nice letter, saying how glad I am that he is doing well.  The booth guy comes up and says, “Oh, you know Rick?”  I’m like, yeah, I was married to him.  He says, “Rick is in Baja with the boys…”  He also has two sons.  I was very happy for him.  My parting shot?  “I helped him get his license!”  (PS-THAT is why you are so rich, dude!)  I couldn’t help it.  Cathy and I were giggling.
  7. It was 20 years ago yesterday (10-10-88)  that:  (a) Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play, (b) The Dodgers won the 5th game of the NLCS to the Mets…I know this because, (c) I was moving out of #6’s house, and we were watching it as we packed.
  8. The Dodgers are down 2-0 in this year’s race to the World Series. 

I read an article in Runner’s World today, that makes me get on my running clothes.  It’s incredibly windy and sunny.  But, I’m off to the gym.  To run.  Or walk. Or lift weights.  I’m leaving before 2pm.  Before I can change my mind.

4 thoughts on “Aurora borealis comes in view.**

  1. Ending a marriage does equal sanity. It may not feel like it when cocaine spills all over you, but hey, damn the luck! 😛 Ice cream does ease the pain. I know. I’ve been there. I love ice cream, more than I ever loved the ex! 😀 Chocolate rocks!

  2. Glad to hear and see that you are back.
    Loved reading your list, and I can see why you had to take some time away from the things that can wait, and deal with the things that cannot wait. I am happily married and hope I never have to deal with the pain and frustration of a divorce. I wish you the best as you get through the divorce, deal with the daily life of a teacher, and get back out on the road.

  3. Sorry about your trials and tribulations. I’m glad that you are able to keep clarity through some of your daily misadventures. I think that it is good that you are giving careful thought to your divorce–you already know that I think it is best if you can reconcile(but it’s not always possible). I think that it is a sad commentary on our society that we value committment and relationships so little. I know that hope exists and I pray that you continue to find strength in these tough days. You seem to have a great network of friends and a good sense of humor,best to you.

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