I don’t have much today.  However, if you’re in the market for drugs, I know exactly who knows where to get them.

  • [in his journal]…It would really suck to have surgery, but at least I’ll get some pain pills out of it.
  • “A quarter ounce for forty bucks?  No way”
  • A kid who won’t speak to me because I took his cell phone, because someone called him during class.  He says, “I’M TURNING IT OFF!”  Uh, but it’s NOT off.
  • A girl who is taking and sending pics during class will NOT give me her phone.  I say, “You’re taking pictures of your writing.”  She says, “It’s my DRAWING”.  Oh, okay.  She left class.
  • “M’am (insert fake bullshit kissbutt attitude).  M’am.  It’s not even my iPod, so I can’t give it to you.”
  • My eyelash girl ran away from home this weekend.  Mom in jail, dad who knows where.
  • Memoir writing from my dim bulb:  “Okay this never happened, so I’m going to lie.”  Hey, it’s a memoir class.  That’s an F, buddy.

We played Pictionary for our 7th period English class.  They had a ball.  However, it’s not exactly STANDARD ENGLISH.  Don’t be a hater.  A girl’s gotta do what a girls’ gotta do.

How exactly do you think my students drew a mouth?  You don’t want to know.

One thought on “today’s gems

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