Postcards from the edge…and I do mean the edge.
- Wrote up a student for this joke: “Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her English teacher told her to do an essay.” Okay, it was sexual harrassment, and I had to write him up, but it was still funny.
- The 18 year old from Thursday: We were reading our novel silently. I stood by him for 45 minutes. He looked down, he looked up. He wouldn’t read. I wasn’t going to move. This went on for some time. He says, “Can I go to the bathroom?” No. No you can’t.
- I told the same kid to Shut Up. I have said that to students three times in my career since 1981. All of them this year. He says, “It’s against the law for a teacher to tell a student to shut up.” I say, “Yeah? Prove it. Research it for me and find out which law I’ve broken.” That really DID shut him up.
- We are watching Friday Night Lights in the Movie elective. One of the hardest kids I’ve had to work with in terms of antisocial depravity comes up to me and says, “Ms. V. I can’t watch that. It reminds me of everything I can’t have.” He can’t play football anymore. I was very impressed. I told him he could leave if he wanted to. He sat through it. Usually I hear catcalls and crap flying out of his mouth. Today: Dead silence. I truly was sad for him.
- This week wouldn’t be complete with a mention of Rockstars and Monsters. Many of my students bring them and pound them down in the first half hour. Lucky for me, all the whackadoodles who don’t NEED those drinks are in first period. And very quiet. I do feel bad for their 3rd period teachers, though.
- Cell phones are banned. I wrote up 6 this week. Cell phones, iPods, whatever. They say, “I’m just checking the time.” Really? Because, there is a clock on the wall yanno.
- Cell phones, part 2. I have the security cop dude on my speed-dial. If you fall asleep in my class, I hit his number; he escorts you out. It’s a beautiful thing.
- I also have my TOC (table of crap). My students are notorious for trying to get their 10 points asap. So, they rush through assignments so they can hang out. No. Not here buddy. When the assignment is turned in, I direct them to the T.O.C., to pick up a puzzle, a word search, whatever. Eh, it’s working.
- Today: a Gatorade slammed into the outside trash by a boy who was pissed at me, a broken book box by M., who fled the classroom because he needed a tardy pass, “you’re not explaining it right”, from my resident, most talented Art student (duh, I’m not an Art teacher)…and last but not least:
- …during our Thanksgiving celebration, when I ask what each kid is thankful for, a boy yells out, “P*ssy!”
I kid you not.
It’s Saturday. Time to wash out my ears and clean up my psyche. After a week with this, I really need the two day break. Fresno State-UOP Basketball game tonight and party on Sunday.
Just for fun: Remember Eddie Murphy and the Ice Cream Cone? I need this for the weekend! Have a great one, everyone!!!