My children attend a relatively conservative private Christian school.  Not because we’re churchy, but because of the culture of our town.  It’s a very old, Dutch community in Northern CA.  There are 4 public schools, and one private school.  We go there.

The last time I checked, there were 3% of our population who were divorced.  3.  I guess I make, what…3.5%?  It’s a VERY small, religious, cultural mecca for 2nd generation Dutch persons, and their non-Dutch imports, like me.  Hey, I’m a member of the Mayflower Society…but, I digress.  I may not be in the heirachy any longer, but I do have Dutch children (and English, obviously).

Tonight I was at the Christmas concert, in the back, and I got a call from my galpal that she was dropping off my 9 year old in front of the hall.  It was raining.  I had to go out and get him.  I saw that every time everyone went outside, there were dirty looks from the Principal, the music director (the guy doesn’t get capital letters, he was an asshat), the Science teacher, a guy who went to church with me for the last 14 years.  I knew that my son would come at the exact time when I would have to leave the building, and cause a disruption.

I get to the door.  Mr. Science Teacher says to me,

“Do you have to go out right now?”
“Yes, Bob, I have to go out and get my son.”
“Really?  You have to go now?  We don’t want any more disruptions.  And you need to BE QUIET.  Can’t you be QUIET???”
“Bob, we’re all adults here.  I have to get out now.”

~he looks away…puts his fingers to his lips, and shushes me~

What does it have to do with divorce?  Nothing, unless you’re going through it.

Lovely for me, I had a fresh new hair cut and blow dry by *Harley*, the new blow dry guy at my salon.  I was wearing all black, and looking all, well, spiffy.  I saw all my old couple friends, who are no longer my couple friends.  My Christmas card list is rather thin this year…and to be expected.  He has been in this town since he was in 5th grade.  Me?  I just got here…in 1994.

I saw his neice and nephew, who used to be my neice and nephew.  They still call me Aunt Linda.  I’m wondering if I’m still their aunt.    They can’t exactly call me Linda now, after all these years.  My His neice, came up and hugged me, and put her arms on my waist!  “Aunt Linda, you are so SKINNY!!”  (I love teenage enthusiasm).

What I need is a rule book.  Meanwhile, Mr. Science Teacher needs to lay off the shushing. 

***PS-I got a fabulous review from my boss today, who said, “Linda, I know you are kicking and screaming, but I believe you are becoming an alt. ed. teacher.”  Huh.  Wasn’t it only a few months ago that kids were snorting coke in my 2nd period?

3 thoughts on “**I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley P.T.A

  1. Yes, but wasn’t it just a few months before that that your students were making crystal meth. So, you know, progress. Before long, they’ll only be smoking j’s and then, finally, drinking a 40 oouncer. Good work indeed!

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