Nothing. Not a thing. I haven’t been able to post all week because of a pending police investigation regarding several of my students harming a female student…yes, in that way…and I was sickened all week. Add to that, that kids are snorting coke in the cracks of my novels, and you have a situation rife for someone coming unglued.
That someone was me, on Friday. I looked at my first period class, all big big boy/men…some 18 years old, and I was just livid regarding their supposed actions…yeah, yeah…innocent until proven guilty. My ass.
I moved them, my security moniter moved them. I mixed all the different gang members around, and they asked me things like, “Ms. V., can I get a pencil?” NO. “Ms. V., can I go to the bathroom?” NO. “Ms. V., can I use my mp3 player today?” NO.
“Ms. V. Are you mad?” YES. Yes I am. Mad at so much that is out of my control.
I wrote referrals like they were going out of style. Kids texting in their books, texting in their pockets.
I finally said, “I’m old. I’ve been fooled by experts. You, my friends, are not experts, so give it up right now.” They did.
Took the BART to SF, and I am sitting at a teacher’s conference paid for by my district. I look around, and you know what? We all look tired. Education in CA is grim at this political moment, and my colleagues and I are feeling it. Time to rest.
…but really, there is nothing else to say. I ran once this week, and I need to get out there. I do. I am just immobilized at the moment. The sun, I’m sure, will come out tomorrow…but for today, the cloud hovers.