Okay, where do all these young women get their smarts?  I am a weary teacher tonight, in my first week of Half Marathon Training for the River City Half Marathon.  Kim and I planned our schedule on New Years Eve, because that’s what all the cool, hip people do.  I am starting to sound like Razzdoodle, with all of his self-doubt, and then his verve and excitement.  (Good luck in Phoenix!)

So, let me tell you what goes through my mind.  Yes, I know I will be 50 in 3 weeks, and have been so excited to get into a new age bracket.  But, here’s what I’m really saying…All. The.Time.  (I am typing this as it comes into my freaking brain)

You are too old.  Really.

My shoulder hurts.

My feet look like they’ve been through a meat grinder…what happened to pedicures and open toed sandals?  I will never get a date again.

My stomach hurts, and I can’t breathe (last 3 miler).

You’re not really a runner.  You can’t even run on a perfectly gorgeous day because you might get warm.   Or on a foggy day, because you can’t see, and…well, you get the drift.

I know something bad is going to happen.  Maybe I’ll be in a coma some time this year, and if so, will someone come and pluck stray hairs that grow out of my chin?  Really.

I re-wrote my will, and told my brother-in-law that I have an iTunes playlist for music at my funeral.  His reply:  “Well, I hope it’s short; we don’t want to be sitting there forever.”

I wonder if I will die while running to “Spirit In The Sky”, and wouldn’t that be poignant.  (You know she died, while running to Spirit in the Sky.  Isn’t that great?)  It’s one of my favorite songs to run to, and I think this everytime it comes on.

I cannot do a Half Marathon.  I will fail, just like before.

Why am I even running?  I’m fatter than ever?

It’s 11pm, and I want to eat.  Really.

You are just too f***ing old.

So, honestly?  Frayed Laces, in all her twenty-something youth, had a wonderful post today about getting a new motto.  I followed that blog with aron, of runner’s rambles.  {{Hilarious dog treadmill, and have you ever noticed that girl doesn’t like capital letters?…just like I favor ellipseses…}} She inspired me too!

So…How about a Gymnotes motto?  Something that will contradict my normally negative thought process.  It would be helpful, and thanks.

The phonelines are now open.

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5 thoughts on “The Phonelines Are Open

  1. You’re NEVER too old!! Seriously! NEVER! Have you seen Sister Madonna Buder? She’s like 79-80 and still rocks out IMs.

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