You know how people say that once you have 3 kids, every kid after is just another kid…that having more than 3 is no harder than having three?

That’s how I thought it would be with an extra mile.  Last week, we completed 8 strong miles, and today was 9.  Last night, my parents came from LA, and I served a homemade chicken soup and salad.  Sort of a light dinner.  This morning.  No gas in my tank, and I knew it at mile one.

I had to stop at the Shell station, and by mile 2, I knew every step would be a struggle. 

Mile 3:  It was 35 minutes.  I mean, really???  We were plodding along.

Mile 4:  Better, on our easy paved road, and to the water stop at 4.5, where I took a Gu shot.

Mile 5:  Pain.  More pain.

Mile 6:  *Fix You, by Coldplay came on.  I started crying.  Seriously, why is this song on my running playlist? 

Mile 7:  Right into the sun.  No glasses or hat.  What were thinking of starting at 6?  I am not a sun runner.  This group of runners we passed earlier was now coming the other way, and they were finished.  And, I was so jealous.

Mile 8:  Over the catwalk.  Still running, but seriously starting to wonder what the hell I was thinking that I could run a Half Marathon.

Mile 9:  Feet burning, trying to get home.

*Lights will guide you home.*

Kim and I walked right into my back yard, and stuck our feet into the very cold pool.

Running.  Such a metaphor for my life right now.  Mile 6 reminds me that even though it’s amazingly difficult, and I’m in pain, I cannot stop.  It’s like being in the middle of the river and being too tired.  You really have no choice but to keep swimming, or you will drown.  At one point, I prayed to my Granny, who spent her early life in the throws of The Great Depression, and she was a very strong woman.

My Mom keeps reading the Headlines to me.  I keep telling her I can’t talk about it.  I have 4 more months of paycheck until the real and unimaginable happens, and I have no income.  The home, the savings, all very real, but back burner.  Number One is getting a job.

Date: 3/21/2009 6:30 AM
Type: Hill
Course: Spring 9 Miler
Distance: 9.03 miles
Duration: 1:45:00
Pace: 11:38 / mile
Shoe: Mizuno Wave Renegade 4
Weight: 🙂
Weather: 52° F, Windy
Statistics: Calories: 1263
VO2 Max: 26.6

PS-Oh.  And it’s my blogiversary.  2 years of blogging.  🙂

PSS-I think I got into the Nike Women’s Marathon.  God.

PSSS-10K Elk Grove this Sat.  YAY.

12 thoughts on “*Stuck In Reverse*

  1. 1 – happy anniversary!

    2- YEAH about Nike (me too!!!)

    3 – You are holding up so well and – even if Coldplay makes you cry! You truly are amazing. . .

  2. Fabulous girl, your right you can’t stop. And I bet your just as strong as your Granny

    Keep it up, your only getting stronger

  3. Wow, you are just going to fly through that 10k next week!! Good Job on the 9…When does 10 sneak in there?

  4. I finally found your blog! The whole wordpress/blogger divide can be difficult sometimes.

    Happy blogiversary, and way to push it through the run. It sounds like you have the right attitude, just keep working, keep your head up and you’ll get there.

  5. Happy anniversary! Great job getting through that 9 miler. I know how you feel.

    Good luck with everything too. My mom is going through a similar situation at her work. Crossing my fingers things work out for both of you.

  6. those are the important runs!!! the ones where you just really want to stop and dont, come race day they will help you out the most. great job for pushing through and finishing!!!!

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