and so i face my biggest fear.
it’s not the marathon. not even a little bit.
because i’ve done 3.
nike, los angeles, marine corps
and i know it will be hard.
they’re supposed to be hard.
they’re marathons
and i was gonna be done.
save for a man named peter. who said no…come back.
and now. after months of tired legs
and hanson training,
i look forward to my favorite course.
dodger stadium
taiko drummers
transvestite cheerleaders
oranges and jewelry in beverly hills
and even though the hill at disney concert hall
is maybe the hardest hill i’ve ever faced,
it does not compare to that long stretch
and mile 18 or is it 19?
where last year i was running with a group
and trying to keep this girl’s braids in sight
she was wearing purple
and i saw dark.
and my stomach could take it no more
off into the bushes i went
heaving.
and my legs were on the course and i couldn’t even move them
out of the way
and this lady says “oh look! she hit the wall”
and i didn’t even the energy to scowl.
the cop just stared at me
the salon pas group was across the way
spraying, spraying, spraying
the ambulance
them saying you must. get. in.
i say
is my blood pressure okay? my heartbeat?
they say, yeah.
but you have to go with us. or get on the bus. and go back to the start.
and i say i can’t. my dad is there. i have to get up.
45 minutes later.
i was crushed…but i had to get to the end.
and i did.
at 6:57.
and so. back i go on sunday.
to the city of angels. to the city of my birth.
and i wonder if i can run past that spot
and keep running.
without crying. without shaking.
and i take that little lost los angeles girl
and i pick her up and dust her off
and i bring her to the finish line…
and i. i will be cheering the loudest.
Oh what a great poem and video! That video reminds me of myself at around mile 20 where a part of me wants to never run again and the other part of me wants so badly to cross that finish line.
Beautiful post! Good luck and most of all, have fun this weekend.
Let’s kill it this year!
Excellent post! Love your literary genius! And I can totally relate… because I went through a similar experience on that same day… (except that I accepted that my race was over at mile 16). I remember tweeting with you this same weekend a year ago. We were both excited and hopeful on opposites sides of the US: you in CA, me in NC. And then we both had bad experiences when race day came. This year, you’re going to totally dominate your marathon and I’m hoping to PR in my half marathon. So proud of all you’ve accomplished. YOU GO GIRL!!!