Tuesday, I ran a sluggish and sad 3 miles, at a 11:52 pace. 

Today, I ran a less sluggish and less sad 3 miles at a 11:27 pace.

This gives me hope.

Hope that, even though I’ve not really trained for 2 months, that I can run.  That I can still run.  Even though I’ve gained and lost 5 pounds and stayed up late and ate cake and pie and homemade strawberry sauce, I can still run.

Even though I am facing maybe the scariest time in my life, I can run.  Less than 2 weeks away from saying goodbye to my students…and my career for the time being.  Waiting for the house to foreclose, for PG&E to come knocking at my door, for hot dogs and beans…

And yet, I have hope… People look at me and say things like, man if I were in your shoes I’d be so scared, and what are you going to do, and where are you going to live?  Harley Guy tells me it will all be okay…and I believe him.

My first race of the season is Saturday, the Dala Horse Trot 10K in Kingsburg.  Then I meet fellow friends Penny, Row and Kristy at Five Restaurant and cheer support the next day at the Fresno Half Marathon.

Putting a race on my schedule.  This gives me hope.  And, I carry on.

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2 thoughts on “hope is the dream of a soul awake.

  1. I’m glad you’re running again. I think having a race to focus on is a very good thing.
    Keep your head down and keep pushing – you will find that break you need. And you’ll be running toward it full speed.

  2. If you haven’t read it already I really recommend the book Born to Run by Christopher McDougall.

    What I like about it is how it emphasises what a joyous thing all running is…it’s not about times or finishing first, but about just being out their on the road.

    If you’re having a tough time then it’s a real pick-me-up

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