today, i strap on 2 five pound weights.

one on each hip.

i amble…yes, amble down the street when kim gets here.

and we walk to the start of our little 3 mile run.

a run i normally do with no problem at all.

but those weights.

where did they come from?

they came from a bad attitude, a court case, a lost job and fear.

but they also came from eating out with harley guy, chocolates at midnight, potlucks and starbucks stops.

from joyous death by chocolate ice cream

but 5 pounds on each of my hips = a much slower me.

so, i’m in the yellow.  barely.

because they also measured me at the doctor’s…and i lost an inch.

and i needed that inch.

i google weight gain for runners, and the first links i see are


not. yet.  god, not yet.

the first mile was rough, over the freeway.  sun coming up, and realizing that 6am is now too late for summer runs.

mile 2.  my lungs are fine.  my legs are fine.

but these weights.  i feel them.

mile 3 had me walking over the catwalk.  walking.

as if i had never run a marathon.

yet i’m training for #5.

i struggle. i get back on the scale after the run.

left one pound on the street.

but these weights.  they both need to come off.

and soon.

*song lyric from “carry that weight”, by the beatles.

4 thoughts on “i never give you my pillow*

  1. I’m comfortably into the orange zone myself 😉
    Been see-sawing back & forth across the same 8 – 10 lb range for the past YEAR, this seems to be the new normal for me… Guess I’d better get used to it (as well as my horse)!

  2. I guess I’m in the yellow since the chart starts an inch taller than me! 🙂 At any rate, things will work themselves out and the 5 lb weights will eventually go away. You’re strong!

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