“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”~Vince Lombardi.

Apparently, I have quit running.  I don’t know when it happened, but one day, my Mizunos looked like they had a fine layer of dust on them.  I have successfully shut down what was once a real goal:  to BQ at 60.  And over the last month, I’ve seen that slip away ever so slowly.

I ran a 5K on 4th of July.  In Virginia.  On a place called Mt. Trashmore, which is exactly appropriate when you’ve hit bottom as a runner.  Trashed.  No more mojo.  No more spirit.  Don’t want to run.

Click here to see my misery.  I’m in pink.  Yeah, you read that right.  I’m at 36:xx:xx for a 5K.  No use writing a race report.  I walked at mile 2.  TWO.  ‘nuf said.

I have been really pondering who I am as a runner if I am not getting tons of support via Twitter, Facebook, email and text.  Like, what did real runners do before all of the social media influenced them to do better, go farther…?  Don’t get me wrong.  I have posted several times regarding how much I have been given especially from Twitter.  However, I quit Twitter this year, and am using Facebook in a very different way now.  No longer am I relying solely on someone’s boot in my butt to get me going.

I have been relying on me.  Only.  And it’s not going well.  I’m not a good motivator.  If I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t.  If I want an extra slice of pie I take it.  And, you can see in the video how it’s going.  I look like a rookie, a neophyte.  A new runner.  And yet, I’ve run 4 marathons.  I’m not a good coach.  If I am tired, I stop.  If I don’t want to do my crunches, I don’t.  I buy into my own excuses, and am back to “I’ll quit tomorrow.”, the cry of the addict.

So, today after stewing about my body and my fitness, I took myself down to the gym.  Tara told me about the Nike Training App for iPhone a few months.  It’s amazing.  I love it.  And I’ve used it for only 45 minutes.  Today, I cracked it out again.

Then I remembered Danica’s 40 day challenge.  And, I decided immediately that I was going to do it.  No excuses.  So, I did the 30 minute Fighter Fit workout, then came home and enlisted my boys into the 40 day challenge as well.  We all swam 30 minutes straight.  I’m on Day 1.

Can I do this on my own?  Without cheerleaders?  Am I a good enough coach and motivator?

I’m about to find out.

9 thoughts on “never, never, never, never give up…

  1. FWIW…I have definitely had slumps in my running and fitness “career,” myself. Not in the past year. Somehow this past year I’ve managed to keep it together. Put on such a good show people call me a “machine” and can’t believe I occasionally take rest days and that I ever could have had an unmotivated slump-period. So, it does happen. You will work yourself out of it. It just takes finding the right goal or motivation. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the online motivation. I definitely take advantage of that, for all it’s worth. If that’s what keeps me going, then so what? I think before that time, people relied on local training groups, family, friends. Something like that.

  2. I’m feeling the same way. I’ve run maybe 3 times in the past 6 months. At first I felt guilty, and I didn’t talk about it much. Now, I’m trying to take the pressure off myself and just let it come on its own. I know that I love running, and that it makes me happy..but for right now I just don’t want to. I will someday..maybe tomorrow..who knows.

    When you run a marathon, it’s just you out there. People can cheer you the whole way, but ultimately it’s you who decides to put one foot in front of the other and keep going. You’ve had the strength to overcome so much in your life already..so I’m confident that you can do anything!

  3. I don’t know that it’s a bad thing to have cheerleaders and supporters. You don’t have to do it solo; running can be a group thing, whether virtually or in person. It’s something we all have in common, so why not share with one another?

    Also, you might be in a slump, but that sidebar says you’ve run over 400 miles in 2011. Look around you and guess how many people have done that. I’m going to bet it’s a pretty low number. You’re still a runner, Linda.

  4. even us swimmers get into slumps, and i feel sometimes i too have lost my “mojo.” take a little time off, it will come back, maybe your body is just tired, and it needs a break. and it’s OK to get motivation from others via twitter or fb. don’t beat yourself up over that. we all need a little “boot in the butt” once in a while, hey at this point in the game, “what ever works.” myself i am using my Wii for a little extra workout. i am getting into stretching more and also yoga and Pilates. maybe you should try yoga? it’s all just a head trip. listen to your body, i promise your mojo will come back, try swimming like you are. myself i signed up for a water aerobics class starting next week. it’s something different to try. but when you feel like running again, it will feel soooo good, it will all come back. try new workouts like your doing, you wont feel guilty about your workouts (or lack of) as long as your exercising and trying new things. who knows maybe your heading towards becoming a “triathlete” expanding your horizons. don’t be afraid to turn to others for motivation if you need to & don’t sweat the small stuff 🙂

  5. You all completely inspire me. It’s not lost on me that the support I got for THIS post was from women I’ve met online. The difference is, I count you gals as real inspirations for me. And I know you all train on your own too.

    I’m watching!!

  6. Love the Lombardi quote.

    I don’t think people realize how easy it is to not run. It seems like the majority of my runs are preceded with an internal battle. I have to will myself and force myself to get out there.

    I think slumps are normal. And Layla is right…look at your mileage for the year so far. 433!

  7. My running mojo comes and goes too – and right now it’s been gone for a while. But I think it’s ok to take a break and switch things up. Good for the body and soul. Your running mojo will come back. And in the meantime your support group is here to tell you it’s all ok.

  8. Hey Linda, I too lost my running mojo after my ITBS last fall that kept me from my first marathon- the marathon I busted my a*s for all summer. Injury sucks, but then I had other *issues* thru the winter, and now, I still have that twinge in my knee even after run/walking for 20 minutes! I need an ART therapist, a form analysis…and I don’t FEEL like it now.

    So I lost my mojo and felt guilty, bad, defeated…I set a huge goal for this fall that was completely unrealisic. So, when I DO get my mojo back, I am starting over. Couch to 5K over. Suddenly other things became more important for me. I’m still deep in recovery, Step 4….that is a lot. I finally admitted…”I don’t WANT to beat up on my body right now.” I believe I got hurt for a reason…I am not meant to do this running thing right NOW. The Universe has laid out my priorities for me.

    So I gave myself permission to let it go….for now. I felt so accountable to everyone online, and ‘guilty’ for ‘quitting’. I am just taking a break. Maybe until the fall, maybe I’ll renew my interest in rowing and get out on the water. Who knows what will come.

    I finally know it’s OKAY now to take a break. Running when our body doesn’t ‘want’ to, especially at our age? NOT a good thing.

    Goals are good and necessary- as long as they fit YOUR needs, not everyone else’s! The great thing about the online community is…everyone has your back no matter WHAT you do or don’t do.
    Xoxo Cyndi

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