10 weeks in. 10 weeks to go. Halfway through the week.
Today, I ran 10 miles. Grueling. Punishing.
It started foggy. Then a lone dog staring at me.
I picked up a stick and ran with it for 3 miles.
LSD. Slow down. Slow down.
I really wanted to have the attitude that I am Just. Running.
Mile 4 had me at the Shell stop. Funny tummy.
I took out my Clif Shot and warmed it in my hand for a mile.
Getting close to the Green Bridge, my head just started to kick in again.
I give it no energy, because, well. It’s old news.
I’m getting tired around mile 6. Muddy rocks off the trail.
Dizzy over the river.
I count the miles that I have to make to make it back
and in a perfect 10 to my house.
I turn. I come back.
My head says, wow. You suck. Your job situation.
You worry about your kids.
Your sobriety looks a little shaky. You are. a. loser.
I continue on. I am slowing down so much that the LSD is looking attainable.
Not feeling it.
Up over the overpass. Have to add on a half mile. Bad math.
I run down Main Street. I make it to that last half mile and speed up.
Because. In this training, we don’t walk on hills, and we sprint at the end.
I get home.
My friend texts me and says: You’re amazing. A runner, mom,
teacher, being of service, etc. etc.
And I realize of course that the perception of others isn’t mine.
So. It is with aplomb that I announce this glass Half Full.
It’s either halfway from the beginning, or halfway to San Luis Obispo.
Already 216 miles since December.
It’s the best I have ever felt in any training.
I need not be afraid of the marathon. The real deal is in the training.
And, by the way. The glass: it’s always full.