“No day is so bad it can’t be fixed with a nap.”
~Carrie P. Snow~
is there anything so delicious as a nap?
it’s 2:30 in the afternoon. i’ve just come back from taking chet to the dog park. if not for him, i would have stayed in the fetal position all day today. i’m in that tunnel. the one you absolutely must to through in order to get to the other side, or so i’m told. i’ve texted and talked with my posse. the ones that know it all. i talk to my old pal hoss because i’m absolutely tired. he reminds me that i’m grieving and that it’s all gonna be okay. he reminds me daily that i can get through this. my bff sits quietly on the sidelines watching me go through this again, and i know that she is there…though i’ve been through this so many times that she’s not really certain she can trust…that this is it. i don’t even really know myself. my texas gal reminds me that i have the resolve to do this. the girlfriends…the ones all over the country, they remind me that i’m a half glass full, lemonade out of lemons kind of girl. and it makes me giggle.
but. i’m tired. i’ve just spent the morning in quiet. exhaustion. grief and sadness wash over me at regular intervals. like, i’ll be driving and see something reminding me , and tears briefly appear. then go away again. then rational thought, then a song takes me over the edge as i try to change the channel. quickly. i made the decision. swiftly, and with great self care. and now, i’m simply walking. and i’m actually pretty happy about this path.
so. i lay down on my bed, my book by my side. the breeze is blowing, and i’ve just discovered that birds are building a nest on my porch, which brings me immense happiness. neighborhood children are playing two yards over, and my wind chimes are jangling. i close my eyes, and allow myself to have a nap. just however long it takes to shake the weariness.
i wake with exhaling. satisfaction at this pause in the day. i go see my favorite friends tonight. but for now, i’m here on the bed, watching my beloved seinfeld, fielding texts and gchats and facebook messages…a journal and an unfinished novel. with chet snoring below…and i know. that this nap, while not particularly special or unique, has refreshed me for just one more day. and for that, i am grateful.
If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way.