Most people who read this blog know that I am sober, and have been since 1979. Long standing readers know that most April posts are about my sobriety. I got sober as a 20 year old, and have been that way for 33 years. I’m not outing myself here, it’s simply a fact.
Alcoholic deaths are ugly. I’ve witnessed too many to count. I got to thinking today, after spending time with some friends after a meeting. I love going to meetings, and to sober events. It’s not like in 1979, when there was still a stigma about being in the program. Now, everyone knows what #xa means on Twitter, and the 12 Steps have seeped into every aspect of our culture.
But. Somehow we have given the notion to newcomers that activity is what will keep you sober. Going to meetings, to coffee, to sober barbecues, blah blah blah. That activity alone will keep your alcoholism at bay.
And it makes me think of this cupcake. The foundation of the cupcake…the flour, eggs, etc. That is the steps and God of our program. If you were to have only the bottom of the cupcake, it might seem bland, but it would fill you up. So, you add the frosting because that is the good stuff. The meetings, the friendships, the sober dances and weekends.
Frosting alone only lasts so long, and doesn’t sustain me. In fact, too much frosting without any cupcake sorta makes me sick. That’s why I can’t stomach more meetings as a solution to my disease. It simply does not make sense. In fact, I can get sicker by going to meetings only, and not doing anything else. And I know that after 33 years, I still need and work the steps, and I work them diligently.
The cupcake. Delicious, all of it. But. If you’re only eating the frosting, at some point, it won’t be enough.