night-runI have had my running clothes and shoes and hat laid out by my bed for going on 4 mornings now.  And, because I’m not sleeping much, or going to bed too late, I just am not running in the morning.  It’s September.  That weird time between REAL Summer and REAL Fall when it’s hot, but everything is made of pumpkin spice.

I checked my sunrise app today, and it tells me that sundown is at 7:40.  Earlier than most Summer nights.  I also checked the temperature for 9pm tonight, and it’s going to be 81.   It’s 99 degrees now.  So I’m shifting over to the night run.  Maybe just for today, because who knows.  But.

I had one of those days.  Within an hour of landing in my office, I knew tonight was going to need to be a run night.  Regardless of what the rest of the day brought, the first stab of bad news in a rehab facility meant that I would need to put away how I felt…and meant that no matter what, I was supposed to be of service to those in need.  Today.  Yet, I knew that unless I got that endorphin rush of a run, I would soon be eating my feelings.  Or getting into a negative mindset, or who knows what else.

I also know that when I run at night, it takes a few hours to settle down.  Which means I’m up until midnight tonight.  Which is okay, because I don’t have to get up at 4 to run.   Is this making sense at all?  I only need 5 hours to sleep, and it doesn’t really matter on which end.

And.  It doesn’t really make a difference if it’s morning or nighttime.  Because it’s dark on both sides.  So, I have my Pepper Spray, my red blinking hat, my phone.  All of the items needed for emergencies.  And, of course I can tell my people where I’m going.  So, tonight I have 5 miles on tap + a brick lap swim, which I’m sure I’ll need.  So.  It’s gonna be a big workout.

Both runs are nearly identical.  However.  Emotionally, I get something different at 5am than I do at 10pm.  At 5am I am full of gratitude.  Grateful for my town, my life.  At 10pm…I’m chewing over the events of the day.  Oddly, it’s the same gratitude, but it comes at the end, not the beginning…I get to run it out on the road and pound my angst into the cement.

In any event…I’m looking forward to being spent.  I NEED to be spent.  Because these feelings won’t be going away on their own…

And tonight.  A night to lace up.  Happy Monday.

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