I didn’t do an end of the year blog post.  My running was, in a word, sketchy.  I ran 513 miles and change.  I planned 3 races with a DNS due to no training or illness.  I haven’t had a running year like this since 2008.  The last month of the year, I had planned a half marathon in Las Vegas, because it was on my LA Marathon training schedule.  I then got the dreaded flu that everyone seems to have now.  I spent all my money at ER and Walgreen’s in Vegas, which is good, considering how much worse it could have been.

I ran some good races.  A balloon 5K in Fresno that signaled the end of my time there.  For a little while.  A local 8K with a freshly broken heart.  A half marathon of deathly proportions in Modesto.  And my finest half marathon in San Francisco since coming back from a broken foot.  I was able to coach a new runner to her first, then her second 5K in two days.  I spent hours with her talking about running.  Life. Recovery.  But always running.

I’m still on track, although the road is taking turns that I hadn’t planned on.  I said goodbye to someone I loved madly.  I said hello to a possibility, a maybe.  And then I threw the dice and while waiting for them to land, discovered that I didn’t even know if I wanted to play the game.  My life is full.  I’m happy with my little family, though Chet is getting older, and teenagers are separating, as they must.  They are finding their passions, and I want to keep them 4 years old and dependent at times…and then just like that, I get so excited about watching them plan their futures.  My dream job came to me just as I let go of all control, and I am back on track.

I have friends.  Amazing friends.  I have 10 people that I can call at midnight, that will pick up the phone.  I have one who makes me the best cappuccino on the planet, served with therapy, in a small coffee shop tucked away in the city… on more Sundays than I can count. One who Face Times me from a piece of land in the South. One who will meet me at Starbucks at the drop of a hat, and a friend who sat down and took the time out to send me a marathon plan, just because.  A friend who is hunkering down dealing with whatever she has to, and who knows I will be here when she resurfaces.  We have been friends that long.  We all show up together to figure out the little problems that life throws our way.  These are experiences that I would have missed.

But 2013.  I spent so much of the year grieving, that I sometimes missed the beauty of my life right in front of me.  I forgave my ex husband after watching him comfort our son after a tough championship playoff loss.  In April and May I didn’t even blog. I rejoined and fell in love with my first love, Twitter.  I went to Florida, Nebraska, Nevada.  I went to my mother’s house in LA once a month.

I realize how lame it is to do a goodbye to 2013 post on January 1 of the next year. But this is how it is.

It’s January 1.  I’ve already broken the resolutions I made at 11:59 last night.  And I suppose that’s how it is with me.  Life is a beautiful mess and I love every minute of it.  The chaos, the joy, the heartache and extreme satisfaction.

2013.  I hardly knew you, but I’m over you now.  Time for the now.

Happy New Year.  I mean it this time.

One thought on “2013, i hardly knew you.

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