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helpless. you didn’t know why she took her life. you didn’t know he was THAT depressed. you wonder what you could have done. there are no answers. when someone has depression, the worst question you can ask is “why?”, as if there is some reason. some explanation. it’s the same logic as asking why you have kidney disease. why. why not. what we know now is that many times it is a medical issue. talk therapy + meds, in short, is most accepted form of treatment. add alcohol + drugs, and you gotta add the 12 steps. or some type of recovery.

so you didn’t know. you’re shocked. you wish she had called you. but she didn’t.

see that post it note? that was sent to me in the mail, along with a book. from one of my favorite twitter friends, tk…and it was sent during a crazy time for me. worried about raising two kids alone. then welfare. then unemployment. and i read the book, and i saw the movie. and i can’t even tell you where the book is now (somewhere in my house)…but this post it note. it made it through the move. i saved it in a special spot, because my friend. she wrote. i love linda! (i think it was attached to jeff bridge’s mouth, because be both loved this movie, soundtrack, etc.) but it was one of the kindest gestures i’ve ever received. it stares at me daily, as it has for all this time. to remind me. i love linda! wow!

so. since the death of robin williams, and because of my job, i’m up close and personal to depression. and this week has been a bitch. because, ya know…if HE could do it. well. then this morning, another of our friends found dead to suicide. and again. the same question.

here’s a smallish list that you can do right now to add some CONNECTION to human beings.

1. call one person who you know and talk to them. turn off your distractions. listen.

2. buy a package of cheap birthday cards, and some stamps. look at your facebook events page. up in the right corner, look at who is having a birthday. see who is having a birthday next week. get their address. send them one of those cards.

3. send a snapchat to someone having a bad day.

4. when your gardener comes, give him a soda or a water. go outside and have a conversation with him.

5. say hello to everyone you pass. everyone.

6. write a note and slip it under your co-worker’s closed door. not in a creepy way, but sort of a joking, fun way.

7. tell someone you work with how they made your day/week.

8. go into your library, and find a book that you’re done with. mail it to someone with a cute card.

9. use the messenger phone app. call someone in your facebook friends list. from the app. it’s got great sound, and then you can’t use the excuse that you didn’t have his number.

10. ask in an open forum. twitter. tumblr. ask if someone is depressed. tell them you’re there right now if they need to talk. just be a human.

i don’t know if it will save their lives, but maybe. maybe your interaction will just let them know you are there.

because some days. i just look at that post it note, and i smile. and that’s something.

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One thought on “what you can do right now

  1. Thank you love, I just had a really fun conversation with my Dad. Most the time he’s grumpy but I called right when he was alone and wanted to chat and share a great game of golf with me. :o) That felt really good.

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