when my head is on fire.
when i don’t think i can do it one more time.
running still gives me shelter from the storm.
recently, my brain cracked open in a way it’s never been. or not in a really long time.
and my head. as well trained as i thought i had it. wasn’t.
i wasn’t expecting this particular thing.
i drove and drove to san francisco on a whim, as i am apt to do.
and what appeared innocuous turned like hot nails in my body.
as i came up over a hill and fireworks seeped from the sky
into my chest.
and i could not wish it away. or think it or pray it away.
i bought new shoes. and then i ran.
and i ran.
and my head would not un-squirrel.
until one day on one particular run, everything seemed to shift ever so slightly.
and the answers fell into place, bit by bit.
and it was every marathon i’d ever run. all those races.
i know now, what it was for.
because. today. running saved me. again.