A Sluggish Six

Two weeks away, and I cannot start questioning my training or my plan.   Today, I started comparing my plan to the one on the Hanson site, and yeah.  I’m on track to finish strong.

So, yesterday, after our weekly morning donut fest, and afternoon Easter brunch, I was simply going to skip my ten mile tempo run.  I looked into Harley Guy’s face and explained that maybe I’d do today’s run yesterday and switch it up.  He said nothing.  So, while he was getting ready to go home, I started getting my gear on for my run.  I secretly committed to doing the 10 miler.  At this point, 14 days away, I just didn’t want to mess with the plan.

I started out at 6pm, and went out west to hit the trail we have that gives me 4 miles before I get to my regular start.  The golf course was closed, so I added another half mile on, and found the trail.  This trail is fun to run on, but so gross.  It’s the sewage ponds.  A bug actually flew into my mouth.  I don’t even want to know where that bug had been.  I needed to hit a 12:04 pace.  When all was said and done, I nailed it, but I was hot, and I had eaten too much during the day.

This morning, 12 hours later, I had to do 6 miles.  My legs feel like lead.  I couldn’t get even a decent LSD pace going.  My quads hurt, my left hamstring was tight.  It was a very sluggish run.

I have no plans to go anywhere the next 13 days.  I am taking care of my ailing dog, my kids and I are on Spring Break, and I am heading to my TNT kickoff party on Wednesday.  This weekend will be very low key, as I leave next Thursday for Clovis & San Luis Obispo.

Today’s run was sluggish as hell.  I need 24 hours to rest the legs.   I’m ready, but I have a lotta runs left before Earth Day.



I am so in love.  I have a long distance relationship with Harley Guy.  And, I would run to him.

So this might be some kind of weird wall.

Everyone knows that I am having a STELLAR training cycle. Like, this might be the time I nail that PR at the San Luis Obispo Marathon.

On my birthday, I awoke with dread from an email. Yes, one of those emails. The one that says “you’re doing it wrong”. I cried. I called for help. I finally had had enough of the stress, and decided that I could not do this to my life. This angst, this fear when I turn on the computer. Oh yeah, and it was my 53rd birthday.

I’ve lost weight the right way. 15 pounds in 3 months or so. Perfectly slow, which is what I wanted, because I don’t want to lose the muscle. I also counted calories, using The Daily Plate…because I get in a trap that I’ve run 8 miles, so I deserve a burger. And fries. And maybe a milkshake. Well, this time, I didn’t do that. I counted. I ate right.

Harley Guy and I have had movement in a very positive direction. We ended our 13 month relationship. I focused on my recovery. I cleaned up my past with amends and worked on the maintenance steps of our program. I got healthier than I have ever been when it comes to relationship addiction. Then, of course, we discovered that we are both still in love with each other. We spent some precious time together, and then both came to terms with the realities of the relationship: We are 100 miles apart, to start with. We have some different and possibly conflicting ideas about how to spend our adulthood. I have teenagers, he has some adventurous dreams of his own. That kind of stuff. That being said, we are going to see where this goes. We are together…but neither one sure of what will happen. I remain, in love with him, and he with me. Very interesting turn of events.

Then I hit a mental wall. And, I pray it’s a coincidence. That none of the above made it happen…because, I have trouble with balance on good days. Last week, I was just tired. I looked at my schedule. 9 or so weeks to go of six days of running. And I just went…um…no. The last few runs have been very sluggish. I went to a spiritual retreat last weekend and ate like the end of the world was coming, and added 2 pounds.

Today, I made an 8 mile run at 11:53, when it should have been 11:45-11:15. I had to fight to stay under 12:00. I missed my tempo run on Sunday due to hours of driving, so I kept up with the schedule.

Funny about the Hanson plan. I am stronger at the end of every run. I save the last .2 miles for sprinting of some sort. I have 10 tomorrow. I pray I have not hit a wall, because I have a hell of a long way to go.

Off Topic: Loving A Biker

I just went to my first biker event.  I’m an English teacher.  A marathoner.  A Single mom.  52 years old.  And, I’m in love with Harley Guy.  Yet, I have no primer on how to be a biker chick.  I thought you had to have tattoos and wear risque clothes.  Not so much:

  • First of all, you wave at other bikers.  Except at biker’s events.  Because you’d be waving all the damn time.
  • You need common sense to ride.  You need a jacket when it’s cold.  Very simple.
  • Don’t lean when he’s at a stop sign.  You’ll be going over.
  • If your man wants the bottom floor of the motel, it’s not because it’s the best room.  It’s so he can keep his eyes on the bike.  Deal with it.
  • You can wear hot clothes.  But, you can only wear them for your man.
  • He gets the table.  You walk into a restaurant, and every hostess looks to you, because you always get the table you want.  Not so fast.  She talks to him.  She takes us to the table…and if you have a good man, he looks at you and says “Is this okay baby?”
  • If you’re cold, or hot…he will pull over and get the clothes/jackets that you need.
  • He may like tattoos.  He may have one.  Or two.  But what he likes on you is for you…to be a lady.
  • You don’t drag this man through a crowd.  You don’t walk ahead on your own.  Because, actually, you are in a relationship.  Be in one.  Stop being all independent.  You’re in a relationship.
  • I saw one lady dressing down her man in front of other men.   This is.  No. Good.
  • Smile.

Sound like the 50s?…if so, bring back the good times. I’m pretty happy.  This is all new for me.   No more Miss Independent.  I’m in love…with a real man.

You’re welcome.

What’s Your Sentence?


What’s your sentence?

Was I better today than yesterday?

Today I did something really hard.  And I did it with a lot of help from a lot of people …who love me.  A lot.  I walked into something with dignity and grace.  But.  I did it alone.

I woke with determination and mapped out my day.  I faced the hard thing.

I had sushi with one of my favorite gal pals who has shown me that nothing is impossible…I taught my homeroom period from Starbucks.  My students and I had to stop because of the four alarm fire…but there we were.  In this virtual world talking about important things.  Together.

I came home and picked up #1 from Soccer, and took #2 to Football and took #1 to Boy Scouts.  And tonight I get to see Harley Guy…riding into my town on his machine.

And I look around at unpacked boxes for work, and running shoes, and dogs and the neverending need for food for hungry boys…and I am clearly blessed, even in the toughest of times.

So, when I saw this video tonight, I wondered…what is my sentence?

I think it is this:

She loved with her whole heart, and landed in the most interesting places.  


So, when I ask if I was better today than yesterday, I will measure it by the love I gave.  The tough love and the sweetness and the doing things when you don’t want to do them love.  Making time when there is no time…This my friends, is my sentence.  To love more, and to love fully.

Carry on.

failure is not an option

30 days ago I took on the 40 day challenge.  Wherein I seek to work out …do some kind of intentional exercise for 30 minutes, 40 days in a row.  I did not finish.  But, I did not fail.

Why did I stop?  I came home on Thursday to a dirty pool, and said to myself, “You don’t need to work out.  You can clean the pool  Vigorously.  And that will be a great workout!”  So, yeah.  That is not a workout.  I said on Friday, “Yeah, you are standing around at a football game.  That burns calories.”  Um, no.  I knew we were in trouble when we headed to Burger King after the game.  At 9:00 at night.  Saturday came and went with a birthday party for a 14 year old.  10 boys …NOT a workout, and not intentional.

Here’s what I DID gain

  • I went from 196 to 189.  Yes.  That’s pounds.  American pounds.  I had such a slide after the LA Marathon, and I was really hopeless to lose the weight.  But, I stepped on the scale yesterday to the numbers staying on the 8.  I was not only thrilled, I finally had hope.  I believe that the small bits of exercise I was getting jump started my metabolism.
  • Tracking.  I started to be more diligent with tracking on Livestrong My Plate.  I’m pretty bad about that, so I just did what I could.  If it goes in my mouth, I write it down.  Simple.
  • I loved swimming again.  I liked running.  I wrote a post about how I was staying on track.
  • I got a new job.  I’m teaching High School English in a public charter online school.  Medical benefits.  Pays retirement.  Working at home.  I started trying to figure out ways I had to move during the day, because sitting with my new fancy computer every day would make my butt get new and fancy and big too.  I rediscovered the gym.
  • I learned that most things are out of my control.  That the only control I have is inside my bubble.  That relationships with harley guy and children and family and work people are all based on me being truthful and staying current.  I cannot control what will or will not hurt my children.  I can only be there when they fall.  And…they will fall.  My job is to be here to help apply a band-aid.
  • I learned that if I don’t workout, I won’t workout tomorrow either.  That’s how I am.  All or nothing.
So today, I being again.  I did 1 day of elliptical training.  I’m ready for the challenge.  You?

Yeah. I changed my mind.

A year ago, I wrote this post  about banditing a race.  I was very all high horse about it …

Oh, how much can change in a year. I had Shiloh & Glenn both running with me for portions of LA, and I didn’t seem to mind!  And now, this!

Who would have guessed that after the 2011 LA Marathon, that I would have hit the proverbial skid row of running.  All throughout the summer, I’ve run little 5K and 10K races, just to keep the juices flowing…but I ran out of gas.

I started the 40 day challenge for myself, after reading about it on ChicRunner’s site.  I thought, you know what? You better get moving!!  (i’m on day 17, having run 3 miles this morning)

I miss racing.  I miss the yelling, the cheering, the FUN of the run.  Races are really the icing on the cake of weeks of training.

A few weeks ago, my good friend Penny asked me if I would run the last 3 miles of the San Francisco Half Marathon with her.  I ignored her.  I asked Harley Guy if we had any plans that weekend …and he says NOPE.  I ignored again, thinking that she surely found someone who could run decently.  Who could at least keep up with her.  Didn’t she know that I wasn’t even really a runner anymore?

I got another message from her last week.  I couldn’t avoid it any longer.  Yes.  I said yes.

And now?  I’m totally freaking serious.  Like I have myself on a running schedule all week.  I cannot let her down.  This girl is an amazing supportive runner, and a great friend.  And she has asked me for help.

I’m banditing 3 miles.  AND…I promise NOT to drink or eat or get in anyone’s way.

But, I’m helping my girl to the finish.  Try to catch us!