586.48 and holding.

586.48 miles in 2012

holding steady.

as i spin and do upper body and core and recumbent bike at the gym.

the moment you start to feel confident about your training and excited about your race, you will get injured.

so, the days have gotten very interesting.

i have my purple princess cast, and i have 5 weeks to go.  i’ve mastered showering and walking and sleeping.  i’ve lost the few pity pounds i put on with the advent of the cast.  and then some.  i’m training the rest of my body to be ready to run in july.  but.  it’s like my life before this marathon didn’t even exist.  was it a dream? were all those things i did even real?  how did i go through a whole season and not watch one dodgers game?  i never read a book.  there are so many things i need to do.

i can’t even imagine what’s coming next…an interesting turn in the road jumped out of the blue…but meanwhile, it’s 586.48.  and holding.

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Wonder Woman Ran Too.

I ran a marathon.  This week.

27.2 bloody miles.

Hanson Training is making me feel strong.  12 pounds down and daily running has become a salve to me.

At the beginning of the week, I was slayed by a personal decision that went awry…love that goes away unexplained or with non-acceptance…and I knew that I had a buttload of miles to run every. single. day.

I ran 6.2, then 3, 5, 5, 4, and finally yesterday did speedwork at an avg pace of 10:14.  This is not me.

And today.  Today I get to rest.  Washing all of the clothes that I will wear again starting tomorrow at the beginning of my 6 day a week workout, leading up to San Luis Obispo Marathon.

I’m raising money.  I’m paying bills.  I’m in court and I’m working the best I can on the 12 steps that I love so much.  I’m raising teenagers.  My work started Wednesday.

I just really want to sit the hell down.

It appears that pain is a great motivator for me.  Since the beginning of this horrific week, I ran a PR, lost more weight, nailed all of my splits…I ran crying and I ran laughing.  It hasn’t been pretty.   Crying myself to sleep.  Waking up with an emotional hangover.  I used words like “devastated” and “crushed” in my vocabulary this week.  Amazing friends stood by me even when I made really questionable decisions.

The Lasso Of Truth.  Wonder Woman’s own lie detector.  I’ve been in that this week.  Compelled to tell the truth to myself no matter what.  Committed to telling the truth…MY truth to those I love and the ones who love me back.

It’s been a rough week.  I want to sleep.  I want to wake up and find that my world is still in tact.

But instead.  I run.

failure is not an option

30 days ago I took on the 40 day challenge.  Wherein I seek to work out …do some kind of intentional exercise for 30 minutes, 40 days in a row.  I did not finish.  But, I did not fail.

Why did I stop?  I came home on Thursday to a dirty pool, and said to myself, “You don’t need to work out.  You can clean the pool  Vigorously.  And that will be a great workout!”  So, yeah.  That is not a workout.  I said on Friday, “Yeah, you are standing around at a football game.  That burns calories.”  Um, no.  I knew we were in trouble when we headed to Burger King after the game.  At 9:00 at night.  Saturday came and went with a birthday party for a 14 year old.  10 boys …NOT a workout, and not intentional.

Here’s what I DID gain

  • I went from 196 to 189.  Yes.  That’s pounds.  American pounds.  I had such a slide after the LA Marathon, and I was really hopeless to lose the weight.  But, I stepped on the scale yesterday to the numbers staying on the 8.  I was not only thrilled, I finally had hope.  I believe that the small bits of exercise I was getting jump started my metabolism.
  • Tracking.  I started to be more diligent with tracking on Livestrong My Plate.  I’m pretty bad about that, so I just did what I could.  If it goes in my mouth, I write it down.  Simple.
  • I loved swimming again.  I liked running.  I wrote a post about how I was staying on track.
  • I got a new job.  I’m teaching High School English in a public charter online school.  Medical benefits.  Pays retirement.  Working at home.  I started trying to figure out ways I had to move during the day, because sitting with my new fancy computer every day would make my butt get new and fancy and big too.  I rediscovered the gym.
  • I learned that most things are out of my control.  That the only control I have is inside my bubble.  That relationships with harley guy and children and family and work people are all based on me being truthful and staying current.  I cannot control what will or will not hurt my children.  I can only be there when they fall.  And…they will fall.  My job is to be here to help apply a band-aid.
  • I learned that if I don’t workout, I won’t workout tomorrow either.  That’s how I am.  All or nothing.
So today, I being again.  I did 1 day of elliptical training.  I’m ready for the challenge.  You?

i never give you my pillow*

today, i strap on 2 five pound weights.

one on each hip.

i amble…yes, amble down the street when kim gets here.

and we walk to the start of our little 3 mile run.

a run i normally do with no problem at all.

but those weights.

where did they come from?

they came from a bad attitude, a court case, a lost job and fear.

but they also came from eating out with harley guy, chocolates at midnight, potlucks and starbucks stops.

from joyous death by chocolate ice cream

but 5 pounds on each of my hips = a much slower me.

so, i’m in the yellow.  barely.

because they also measured me at the doctor’s…and i lost an inch.

and i needed that inch.

i google weight gain for runners, and the first links i see are

menopause.

not. yet.  god, not yet.

the first mile was rough, over the freeway.  sun coming up, and realizing that 6am is now too late for summer runs.

mile 2.  my lungs are fine.  my legs are fine.

but these weights.  i feel them.

mile 3 had me walking over the catwalk.  walking.

as if i had never run a marathon.

yet i’m training for #5.

i struggle. i get back on the scale after the run.

left one pound on the street.

but these weights.  they both need to come off.

and soon.

*song lyric from “carry that weight”, by the beatles.

…as promised!

Here I am with my dog Chet, who’s taking a dip in the pool after our walk!  I’m holding up my new gang sign!  7! 
Woot!
Thank you SLB, at Quadrathon for my VERY cool visor for coming in 7th place for the Worth the Weight Challenge.  I lost 6 pounds in this challenge, which of course NOW, due to no running, I will have to have a *do over*.

Here, as promised, are pictures of me and my new Headsweats Super Visor.  Gymnotes #2 and I just got back from a bike ride and Subway sandwich picnic lunch, and the wicking is so fantastic, I was dry the whole time!!

7th place!!

Dodger Dog wrapup, and Quadrathon Weight Loss Challenge

Over at Quadrathon, I’ve joined a weight loss challenge. I’ve spent three glorious days in LA, ending with a fabulous run at Dodger Stadium yesterday. However, I tend to do nothing in terms of eating clean or working out when I’m visiting my family. Yesterday, I promised myself I would run. Then my Dad yells, “I’m making french toast!” Well, you got it. I ate.

Here’s the damage at Dodger Stadium:
1 Dodger Dog (have to have to have to)

photo

popcorn, diet coke, Carnation malt, Frozen Lemonade. This after the French toast breakfast. Last night Ham, twice stuffed potatoes, asparagus, rolls, peach cobbler. So, yeah, I’m a fatty. We played pinochle and Scrabble, and had a great, relaxing time, but the mouth just kept opening. As I’m typing this now, I’m feeling hungry. And not for oatmeal.

No worries. I’ll be down 5 by the weekend, and will be on my way to Internets stardom via Mr. Quad’s weigh loss challenge. Off to Northern California, and the school year starts tomorrow.

Characters we met at Chavez Ravine:

  • We were sitting in front of these three dudes: One, a college grad from Long Beach, one a correction officer just back from Iraq, and one trying to beat a drug charge, clean 18 months after a 90 day drug sentence. My sister and I laughed throughout the game as we heard these gems:

Dude, the 80’s were like, 40 years ago.

Dude, if you say, “I’m here, is it spelled h-e-r-e, or h-e-a-r?

  • This guy comes up to me at the end. He says, “Can I have your autograph? Do you play on the beach volleyball team, because you have the tan, and the arms.” LOL He was drunk. Sadly, that may be my new demographic. Heh.

We bought the kid (23 years old!!) from Iraq a beer; he was a Marine reservist who was called up. Big deal. A beer for everything he did. But, he was grateful. We’re all about military in our family. Big supporters.

Back to the real world come tomorrow.